Someone’s Walking With You

One of the things that I’ve been taught — or at least that I’ve assimilated as a belief somewhere along the line — is the idea that nobody can walk my journey for me; I’ve got to walk my journey on my own.  At first glance, and indeed when I look at my life, I can see how this can be construed as the absolute truth.  I mean really, I cannot walk your life’s journey, nor can you walk mine.  The challenge with this belief, however, is the often-made extrapolation that you must, therefore, walk your journey entirely alone.  What I’m coming to realize in a really big way is that this is far from the truth.  While it may be true that only I can walk my path, it is equally true that I never walk alone — I’ve actually got a support team walking with me.

I’m not trying to be all religious here.  I am, however, trying to draw your attention to a spiritual truth that overrides whatever you may hold as religious beliefs.  The truth is this:  the universe as a whole has always got your back, and you are surrounded — by virtue of the fact that you live in a world of human beings galore — by people who can walk alongside you and help you, if you’re willing to enlist them on your journey.  This is a vital point to understand because, when you realize that you are not alone, you also realize that you’re capable of more than you might do on your own.  Working with a team is guaranteed to get you greater results than when you fly solo — when you look at all successful people you quickly realize that nobody is successful on their own.

So, here’s what needs to happen.  No matter what you consider your life’s purpose to be, it’s time for you to recognize that as you move to fulfill this purpose, you do in fact have people in your corner to support you, and it is essential that you lean in and grab their energy for support .  If this isn’t immediately obvious to you, don’t fret.  Keep your eyes and ears open and on the lookout for your supporters, let go of any who are obviously non-supporters in order to make room for your team, and keep moving forward.  Feel the support that it naturally around you, and move ahead.  That’s the way to accomplish whatever it is you’re up to in this world.

Bottom-line:  you are not alone, even when you’re walking your path to infinity.  Life is good.

When “Right” is Disguised as “Wrong”

I’m sitting here this morning contemplating “what’s right” and more specifically, how one knows when something is right. For example, how do you know when a course of action is right?  How do you know when it will serve? These questions are arising for me as a result of having reached a crossroads of sorts, and being uncertain as to which path to follow.  I’m sure you can relate to the resulting sense of angst (but maybe I’m just assuming you can relate — maybe you’ve never in fact been in this situation!)

For many years I’ve held the belief that you know when something’s right because it feels right.  What I’m starting to realize now, however, is that sometimes you’ve got to move through a “feeling wrong” experience before things feel right.  The temptation in this scenario, of course, is to assume that the initial “wrongness” deems the whole course of action wrong.  My sense is that this sort of thinking actually sets you up for unnecessary slogging.

Here’s an example.  At this particular point in my life, in my career, I have numerous goals and objectives.  Most of these still ring true as things which I want to accomplish; those that don’t, well I’m in the process of letting those go.  The challenge I’m encountering is that my best-laid plans are going somewhat askew, due to a number of reasons.  In order to get back on track, I’m sensing that I’m going to have to ask for some help — specifically, asking people for resources which I sort of figured I would be able to access on my own.  For me, the notion of asking others for resources of any sort generally feels “wrong.”  And I could easily let this feeling of “wrongness” stop me from asking.  When I take a step back, however, and look at the big picture, what I realize is that by not asking for resources, I’m likely to waste time and energy that could otherwise be put into the achievement of my goal.  In other words, while there’s an initial sense of “wrong”, in the long run, this choice could actually be “right.”

The ultimate challenge, of course, is that in this game of life you can’t actually know if something’s right or wrong until you do it.  Sometimes, the things that feel right turn out to be mistakes, and the things that feel wrong actually serve in a way you could never have imagined.  The trick, I’m beginning to understand, is to lose the judgment of right and wrong altogether, particularly with respect to the outcome, and simply choose a course of action — and then choose again as necessary.  It’s imperative to stop being hard on yourself, judging yourself for “wrong” choices, and keep your eye on the ball at all times, whatever that ball is for you.

Bottom-line is this, best summarized by Don Miguel Ruiz’s 4th agreement in his book The Four Agreements:  always do your best.  Some choices will serve, others will not, and if you’re doing your best at all times, then you simply cannot hold yourself in contempt.  It really is all good.

The Answers are in The Stillness

This is what I’m being reminded of at this point in my life. The idea of stillness is not a new idea, by any stretch of the imagination. And yet, I feel like I’m being called to remember — and in turn to remind those around me — that sometimes, the answers you seek, the completion you long for, the solutions that seem so elusive are in fact present…in the stillness.

You see, one of the things that it’s so easy to give in to is the “busy-ness” of the world around you.  Things are moving at lightening speed and, in fact, movement seems to be the comfort-zone that our world knows these days.  The idea of sitting still and just settling into the space of stillness appears to be a foreign notion, a radical concept.  And yet, there is magic that happens in the space of stillness that simply can’t happen in the space of continual movement.

Am I saying that movement shouldn’t happen?  No,  definitely not.  What I am saying, however, based on my recent noticings and rememberings is that there really is merit in allowing yourself to buffer the constant movement of your life with a period or two of complete stillness.  Let your body be still; let your brain be still; let the world around you come to stillness and notice what shows up in that space.  There really is a purity and serenity that simply cannot be found anywhere else.  And in this pure, serene, magical experience lie the answers you seek, more often than not.

What I know for sure is this:  just because the world is a busy place does not mean that you have to deprive yourself of the gift of stillness.  In fact, when you deny the stillness, you also deny the answers you’re looking for.  If there’s a problem your grappling with, stop grappling and seek the place of stillness — the solution lies in that space.

Time to Crank Up the Awareness Dial

In the last few days I’ve availed myself of the opportunity to check in on “where I’m at” from moment to moment, day to day.  It’s been an interesting process, paying attention to little things like my mood, my posture, my breathing, my thoughts.  Why have I chosen to put my focus on these things?  Because I’m learning that heightened awareness is one way to guage how I’m showing up in the world, what’s working for me, what’s not, and what actions I might take.  In other words, by turning up the awareness dial in my life, I’m finding powerful ways to hold myself accountable to the life I claim to want for myself.  Let me explain.

I know from my own experience, and from bearing witness to clients’ experiences, that moving through life on auto-pilot is a really easy thing to do.  But it’s simple in a less-than-ideal way; it’s not a simplicity that serves, it’s a simplicity that allows us to be out of touch with ourselves and the world around us.  Auto-pilot, when it’s used for long periods of time, inevitably results in you getting to a place and wondering, “how the heck did I end up here?”  which is a thought that is guaranteed to leave you somewhere on the spectrum of confused to scared silly.

When you shift out of auto-pilot and into conscious awareness, however, a number of things happen.

• First (and most obvious) you become aware of every single detail of your life — sometimes a not so comfortable experience, admittedly. This awareness can have you noticing what you’d rather not pay attention to, but it can also have you becoming aware of what’s actually working for you.
• Second, you can become more deliberate about your choices, however small.  Every action you take is done in a spirit of overall certainty.  These deliberate choices leave you feeling empowered about the life you’re creating.
• Third, you notice and draw causative links between the choices you make and the results you experience. In other words, you start to recognize the fact that your life is actually be created by your choices, and not just by luck of the draw.
• And finally, you learn to deliberately tweak your choices based on these observations — if you deem it necessary — so your life circumstances evolve as you’d like rather than by happenstance.

Bottom-line:  standing in a place of conscious awareness can serve you well as you strive to create the life you actually want for yourself.  Yes, there will be uncomfortable moments — particularly when you become aware of things you don’t like or choices that don’t serve.  All of the discomfort, however, is definitely made up for by the resulting  insight and deliberate creation that ensures you a life that works for you.  And isn’t that what you ultimately want for yourself?  I know it’s what I want for myself — a life that works for me.

The Amazing Power of Mantras

I discovered the amazing power of mantras a number of years ago.  Nevertheless, I continue to be amazed by how effectively things can change when one uses a mantra or two.

For those who don’t know, a mantra is a simple phrase that is repeated, with a view to bringing something about, usually a change.  Definitively, the use of mantras typically arises out of some eastern religions, such as Hinduism, and mantras in this context have a prayerful quality.  As I understand it, when one uses a mantra, one is striving to change one’s focus in order to experience something new.

My first really powerful experience of mantra use happened almost a decade ago, when my son (who was just over 3 at the time) had been dealing with asthma for several years.  His diagnosis seemed to come out of nowhere for me, and it troubled me that he had to take puffers and inhalers virtually non-stop.  Then I came across Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”, a resource designed specifically to support people in effectively changing physical ailments, using mantras as a tool.  What I learned from her book was that childhood asthma arises when a child feels unwanted, unloved.  After dealing with my astonishment and associated mommy-guilt in considering this possibility, I started articulating the corresponding mantra several times each day.  Within a short time frame, my son’s asthma disappeared.  Now, at the age of 10 1/2, he only deals with asthmatic symptoms when he has a nasty cold — once every couple of years, in other words.  Mind-boggling and astonishing, that was my first powerful experience of using a mantra.

Then, yesterday I got hit out of the blue with what felt like a sinus infection.  Let me tell you, it HURT!  I’m not a fan of taking pharmaceuticals, if I can help it.  If I have no recourse, I’ll do it; but I’d rather explore alternatives if I can.  So, I did two things yesterday.  I took a friend up on her offer to send me some healing Reiki energy, and I sought out my Louise Hay book.  Her book stated that sinus problems arise when one is feeling at odds with someone else, someone close.  I couldn’t put my finger on who that might be, but I looked at the mantra anyway which read, “I declare peace and harmony indwell and surround me at all times.  All is well.”  Well, I puttered through my day, and felt the pain getting worse and worse.  Finally, in the late evening I gave in and took a tylenol tablet.  Then I settled down and started reciting the mantra, knowing that the acetaminophen’s effectiveness would only last for 6 hours max.  I went to bed, and awoke around 3 a.m. — the sinus pain was gone, and has stayed GONE ever since.  That’s right, I’m sitting here typing with only the slightest bit of a headache, and no sinus pain whatsoever.  Was it the Reiki?   The mantras?  Both?  My sense is that it was both in combination.   And while the pharmaceutical took the edge off, what I know for sure is that it didn’t get rid of it.

Bottom-line for me is this:  when you can affirm a change verbally with a view to bringing that change into your reality, anyway you look at it, it’s a good thing.  Mantras are a good thing.  That’s all I’ve got to say.

YLYW Podcast 17: New Year’s Resolutions Be Damned

Description: Ever find yourself saying “I don’t have a choice?” What gets shut down in your life when you operate from this frame? How can opening up choices serve you? What would be possible if you operated from the premise that you ALWAYS have a choice? Listen in on this podcast and find out how embracing choice can fill your life with a greater sense of EASE.

Summary: A new year brings with it the idea of resolutions.  Most people set some, and inevitably give up on their resolutions very quickly. In this podcast, get a new take on resolutions and be prepared to create goals on a firm foundation, goals that will actually work for you.

  YLYW 17: New Year's Resolutions Be Damned (62.3 KiB, 0 hits)
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2009 in Review

I love gathering innovative ideas from wherever I can.  A couple of years ago I met a colleague — someone who I now consider a dear friend — who would encapsulate her year in review in the form of a list.  I absolutely loved the idea and so, I’ve tried to do the same ever since.  In looking back at 2009, I realize that there was a LOT that went on for me — some good, some great, some less-than-fun — and so I’ve been sitting on posting this list for a while.  But, we’re now 4 days into this new year called 2010, and I’m thinking it’s time to bite the bullet and post.  So here goes.

For me, 2009 is best encapsulated in this moment by the following:

• Your Life, Your Way takes off
• Podcast series established
• milestone birthdays for family members
• 2 trips to California
• learn to run
• achieving weight loss goal
• first 5k run in Claremont
• running Power of Two by myself
• rewriting my life’s story
• teaching others to rewrite their story
• social-media savvy
• facebook and twitter
• new church
• first sermon delivered!
• nailing down my niche
• women leaders galore
• claiming my inner visionary
• saying “no”
• h1n1 & pneumonia
• brush with death
• relearning to ask for help
• discovering friends
• discovering non-friends
• embracing
• letting go
• 12-hour shopping spree
• new computer
• book clubs
• retreat centre
• dreams evolving
• redefining relationships
• children growing up
• setting boundaries — and resetting them
• speaking my truth
• stepping up and speaking out
• baseball champions
• discovering my inner athlete
• leadership revisited
• fun weddings
• embracing ease
• modeling ease
• no apologies
• raising the bar
• it’s all good
• time expands as I need it

That’s my list for this year.  And there’s likely more to add.  I’ll revisit this at some point — and for now it’s good.  Probably means less to you than it does for me.  So my question for you is this:  what encapsulates 2009 for you?  What does your list look like?  What I know for sure is that the creation of a list like this allows me to celebrate and remember all that I want, before launching into the joys, trials and surprises fo the year ahead.  So go ahead — create your own list.  You’ll have some fun — and enjoy some surprise memories, I guarantee it.