Statement of Fact? Complaint? Or Both?
So, I’ve taken on an interesting challenge by way of turning up the dial on infusing my life with the greatest amount of positive energy possible. The challenge? No complaining for 7 days.
At first glance, this doesn’t seem too daunting, or at least I didn’t think so. Having taken on the challenge, however, I find myself feeling stumped at times. Why? Because I’m not sure what to do — or more importantly, what to say –when there’s something in my world that is genuinely not happening “appropriately” (or at least, it’s not appropriate by my standards). How do I convey this information without having it be a complaint? Is this even possible?
I don’t feel like I’ve got an answer to this one yet. Part of what’s arising for me is a question of perspective, as in maybe whether or not a statement is heard as a complaint depends more on whether you’re the deliverer of the statement or the receiver. Or, maybe, it’s about energy — as in if I find a way to deliver the statement of fact with loving energy, then maybe it’s less of a complaint. I really don’t know.
What I do know is this: complaining less is bound to serve the world more. And given that I’m all about service, I’m glad to take this challenge on. I’ll try to keep you posted as to what else I notice. And any insights you’ve got, would be much appreciated.
Gail,
This is a great challenge — will look forward to your updates!
In some of the systems coaching I do, we talk about looking for the request behind the complaint — that sometimes a complaint is just a unskillful request for change.
Thought I would offer that as another perspective — if you notice a complaint bubbling up, reframe it as what is the request you are wanting to make?