Statement of Fact? Complaint? Or Both?

So, I’ve taken on an interesting challenge by way of turning up the dial on infusing my life with the greatest amount of positive energy possible.  The challenge?  No complaining for 7 days.

At first glance, this doesn’t seem too daunting, or at least I didn’t think so.  Having taken on the challenge, however, I find myself feeling stumped at times.  Why?  Because I’m not sure what to do — or more importantly, what to say –when there’s something in my world that is genuinely not happening “appropriately” (or at least, it’s not appropriate by my standards).  How do I convey this information without having it be a complaint?  Is this even possible?

I don’t feel like I’ve got an answer to this one yet. Part of what’s arising for me is a question of perspective, as in maybe whether or not a statement is heard as a complaint depends more on whether you’re the deliverer of the statement or the receiver.  Or, maybe, it’s about energy — as in if I find a way to deliver the statement of fact with loving energy, then maybe it’s less of a complaint.  I really don’t know.

What I do know is this:  complaining less is bound to serve the world more.  And given that I’m all about service, I’m glad to take this challenge on.  I’ll try to keep you posted as to what else I notice.  And any insights you’ve got, would be much appreciated.

What Other People Think of You…

…is none of your business.  I confess I don’t know to whom this particular phrase should be attritbuted, which is a shame.  Why?  Because I think it’s a brilliant insight into one of the challenges of being human.  For so many of people, living according to the ideas and ideals of other people is what keeps us moving forward.  And really, it’s no wonder.  As parents, we teach our children (consciously or not) to do those things which garner our approval as well as the approval of other signifcant adults in their lives.  So naturally, as children grow into adults, they hold onto this need to be granted approval by whomever they deem significant in their lives, whether it’s coworkers, friends, or — despite being fully-grown adults — their parents.

The result?  The balance is weighted heavily on one side, the side that measures the approval of others, without giving enough weight or credence to one’s own perspective and insights.  What I’ve come to realize (although I do, admittedly, fall back into old patterns from time-to-time) is that what really matters is what I think.  Do I think I’ve done my best?  Do I feel there’s more to do?  Do I have a sense that I could have done better or do I just know that I rocked the house?  While it may be true that our personal assessments can be skewed to a certain degree, relying too heavily on the opinions of others is also a skewed approach to self-assessment.

So here’s the bottom-line:  whatever it is you’re up to in the world, do YOUR best.  Be honest with yourself and give your own opinion it’s due credence.  Seek the input of those you trust if necessary, but know that ultimately, it’s your opinon of yourself and your efforts that really matters.

What the World Needs Now…

…is a little bit of dancing.  Or singing.  Essentially some spontaneous expression of joy and energy.  How do I know this?  Well, I guess I don’t know for sure.  But I do sense it.  In the last week I’ve seen several youtube videos that have involved groups of people catching “the world” (or at least their immediate world” off guard by bursting into unexpected singing and/or dancing.  J & K’s wedding entrance dance, the season opener of Oprah, the Sound of Music in Central Station in Belgium — all of these incidents have a commonality that I can’t help noticing, one that goes beyond the music and movement.  And that is that there is this infectious happiness and joy that gets created and is palpable, even when viewed on a video screen.

Here’s my take on it:  I think our world — no matter what part of the world you might live in — has gotten so far away from being able to experience joy spontaneously, from being able to connect with the feeling of pure joy, that there’s a collective longing for FUN and laughter.  And this longing is being met — if only vicariously — through the antics of these individuals who choose to catch us all off guard and burst into song and dance.  I know for me, I can totally feel each and every cell of my being responding in a real, positive, energized way to each of the above-mentioned videos.  So strong is this feeling, that I invite you to check them out if you haven’t already done so, and notice what happens for you.

Bottom-line:  I think it’s time for each and everyone of us to create space in our lives, in our worlds, for a little creative expression — the more spontaneous, the better.  What I know for sure is that music and dance are natural energy lifters.  So when you’re feeling down, it’s an easy way to raise your spirits.  Happy singin’ and dancin’!

Let Silence Be The Gift

I know there’s a big movement in the world towards meditation.  Personally, I like it.   When I think of meditation I think of taking time to reflect inward, to be grounded or get grounded, to recharge on a spiritual level.  It’s all good.

I was reminded this past weekend, however, of one of the challenges that exists for people when it comes to meditation:  so many people shy away from the practice based on a fear of getting it wrong.  As I was facilitating a dialogue and discussion with a group of women, the topic of taking time to be silent arose (as it tends to in these circumstances).  And, as is often the case, concern was expressed over how to do it right.  People talked about trying so hard to get it right, feeling frustrated when they don’t get an answer and other such dilemmas regarding the practice of meditation.

I can totally relate.  Years ago, when I first learned about and started exploring the practice of meditation, I too felt like I was doing it wrong.  And then I was blessed to have a mentor point me in the direction of letting it simply be right.  Not looking for a particular outcome or answer per se, but just allowing myself to be with the silence and experience the silence, knowing that my mind will wander, and I can bring it back to the moment.  In other words, the gift in meditation doesn’t have to be anything more than the experience of silence.

What I’ve learned through the years is that sometimes I can meditate better than others.  Sometimes, I can hold a question for a stretch of time and emerge from the silence with an answer that serves.  Sometimes, not so much.  Either way, the silence in and of itself serves.  The silence allows a stillness which, in our fast-paced world, has a healing effect all its own.

Bottom-line:  meditation can be a really good thing.  And sometimes, all you have to do, is let silence be the gift.

What’s Your Thing?

I had the opportunity to ask this question of a group of women yesterday, during a Goddess Walk that I was participating in.  I guess technically-speaking I was the guest speaker for the event as opposed to simply a participant — but I tell you, I got as much from the experience as anyone there.

As I said, my opening request of these women, as part of the introduction process, was for them to share their names as well as what they’re up to in the world — in other words, “what’s your thing?”  It was telling to me that many of these women grappled with the question.  And so it had me wondering, how clear are people in the world, as a rule, on what they’re truly about?  One of the women wondered why it was even important to know what she’s about.  My response is this:  unless you consciously know what you’re about, you will be like a sponge and unconsciously absorb the things that are important to those around you.  Eventually, you’ll be saturated with the ideas of others and your true, authentic spirit will begin to die off.  In short, you won’t be havin’ any fun.

So, what’s your thing?  How do you know?  And do the people around you know what’ your’e about?  More importantly, do they respect you enough to honour you and your thing?  If so, you’ve got the right group of supporters in your life.  If not, it’s time to recondsider who you’re hangin’ out with.  Which is actually the topic of my feature article in my monthly ezine.  You can check it out by signing up for it at www.stellarcc.com.  And until then, let me challenge you to get really clear on what you’re about.

Bottom-line:  until you know what you’re thing is, you can’t really know who you are.  And it doesn’t serve anyone, least of all you, to go around this world unsure of who you are.