A Whole Different Take on Birthdays

You know, I am a big proponent of you taking the bull by the horns and celebrating your birthday in whatever style feels right for you.  Surprise parties are nice; heck, parties of all sorts are nice.  But one of the things that I discovered many years ago (as someone who likes to mark her birthday in some sort of significant way) is that if I wait for someone else to  plan a celebration, it just may not happen.  It might, and it might not.  So, bottom-line, if there’s something specific I want in any given year, then it behooves me to be bold and ask for it.

This year, my birthday being this past weekend, I had a very interesting experience.  I knew what I wanted, I asked for it, I got it (dinner out with my whole family at my favourite restaurant) — and yet, my birthday was still tinged with an undertone of sadness.  It was really weird!  Because it’s not that I didn’t have celebratory wishes and acknowledgments coming my way.  It’s not like anyone really forgot.  Yet still, there was this sense of grief that went along with the celebration.  And I finally clued in, about half-way through my day, as to what was going on. I was standing in the paradox of celebrating my life — both the living of it, and the dying.

You see, while a birthday is a time to celebrate another year’s worth of growth and accomplishment, it’s also a marker of another year having gone.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be morbid here.  This was just the first year that I was very aware that even while most of me was celebrating all that has been and all that is and all that is yet to come, another part of me was very aware that every year I get older, there’s a part of me that slips away.  It’s like the shedding of a skin of sorts.  It’s a good thing, it really is; and, the leaving behind of anything has a bittersweet quality to it.

So, while I’m another year older and happy for it (in ways that I can’t begin to describe) I’m also aware that I’m doing what I need to do, and leaving some old stuff behind.  Some habits are being thrown out, some limiting beliefs are being discarded and yes, some well-worn clothes are being given away.  Bottom-line:  birthdays are definitely a time to celebrate AND they are a time to let some old stuff go.  It’s a great thing.