One Way Out of Overwhelm

I think I’ve finally hit on a reasonably workable strategy for minimizing the overwhelm that can sometimes be all-consuming.  Let’s face it; the world we live in is so fast-paced that often even those of us with the best intentions can get blindsided with the demands of simply everyday living.  Well here’s what I’ve discovered.

First, it’s time to realize that the to-do list really does NEVER end.  That’s right.  There will always be something more to do.  Realizing and accepting this really does help in alleviating some of the overwhelm, by helping you to set more realistic expectations of yourself and those around you.  For you perfectionists out there, this realization is a pivotal one.  I actually had one client make a monumental breakthrough this week, with this shift in thought alone.

Second, knowing that the t0-do list never ends, celebrate and acknowledge accomplishments as you go along.  If you wait until the to-do list is done — given that it never will be done — you’re never going to celebrate.  And anyway you slice it, that’s a bummer.  Celebration is important.

Third, begin your day by setting a specific goal that encompasses no more than 5 specific tasks or projects (depending on their size, of course).  The key here is to be really specific.  Saying that you want to get through your list doesn’t quite cut it.  Saying that you want to “finish your newsletter, call 5 prospects, and complete your invoicing” is a very specific, task-oriented goal that is measurable and achievable.  Which is a good thing.

Finally, breathe.  That’s right, take time to breathe as you move through your day.  Speaking from my own experience, it’s amazing what a single deep breath can do in terms of clearing your head and refocusing — 3 deep breaths and your whole body relaxes and tension releases.  Try it — you won’t regret it.  And if you need help, you can check out the breathing space on my website at www.stellarcc.com.  Three minutes inserted into your day and  you’ll be grounded, focused and ready for whatever’s next.

Bottom-line:  overwhelm does not have to be par for the course.  There is a way out.  Any one of the above strategies will help.  Used in combination, it’s a surefire way out of the overwhelm and into the lightness of being.  Trust me.

A Whole Different Take on Birthdays

You know, I am a big proponent of you taking the bull by the horns and celebrating your birthday in whatever style feels right for you.  Surprise parties are nice; heck, parties of all sorts are nice.  But one of the things that I discovered many years ago (as someone who likes to mark her birthday in some sort of significant way) is that if I wait for someone else to  plan a celebration, it just may not happen.  It might, and it might not.  So, bottom-line, if there’s something specific I want in any given year, then it behooves me to be bold and ask for it.

This year, my birthday being this past weekend, I had a very interesting experience.  I knew what I wanted, I asked for it, I got it (dinner out with my whole family at my favourite restaurant) — and yet, my birthday was still tinged with an undertone of sadness.  It was really weird!  Because it’s not that I didn’t have celebratory wishes and acknowledgments coming my way.  It’s not like anyone really forgot.  Yet still, there was this sense of grief that went along with the celebration.  And I finally clued in, about half-way through my day, as to what was going on. I was standing in the paradox of celebrating my life — both the living of it, and the dying.

You see, while a birthday is a time to celebrate another year’s worth of growth and accomplishment, it’s also a marker of another year having gone.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be morbid here.  This was just the first year that I was very aware that even while most of me was celebrating all that has been and all that is and all that is yet to come, another part of me was very aware that every year I get older, there’s a part of me that slips away.  It’s like the shedding of a skin of sorts.  It’s a good thing, it really is; and, the leaving behind of anything has a bittersweet quality to it.

So, while I’m another year older and happy for it (in ways that I can’t begin to describe) I’m also aware that I’m doing what I need to do, and leaving some old stuff behind.  Some habits are being thrown out, some limiting beliefs are being discarded and yes, some well-worn clothes are being given away.  Bottom-line:  birthdays are definitely a time to celebrate AND they are a time to let some old stuff go.  It’s a great thing.

What Is It To Be Worthy?

This is a question that has arisen for both me and several of my clients this week.  It’s always intriguing to me how an issue that I’m mulling about, can be mirrored in the lives of my clients.  That being said, the whole topic of worthiness seems to be one of relevance in our society at large.  In a world where there is a wide gap between the richest and poorest of humanity, where some are privy to conditions of comfort and others of squalor, what is it to be worthy — and what is that the worthy have?

Here’s what I’ve learned this past week.  The fact of one’s existence automatically makes one worthy.  In other words you’re here, therefore you’re worthy.  Of what?  That is the next question, right?  My personal belief is that we are all worthy of absolute peace, fulfillment, joy and abundance.  The challenge is that we tend to define worthiness and balance in terms of material qualities.  In other wrods we look to the material trappings of our world as markers of our worthiness — and even then we often put on skewed lenses before viewing our circumstances.  For example, those with debt will often berate themselves for their financial condition — when another frame, one that probably serves better, is to remind yourself that you were WORTHY to receive credit in the first place, and now you can in fact take steps to eliminate your debt and move on, however small.

Bottom-line for me I guess, is the realization that it really is not that difficult to settle into the place of feeling worthy, of knowing that I’m worthy.  And this is best done by losing my personal judgments and comparisions of myself against others.  So my new mantra is, quite simply, “I am worthy.”  Period.  ‘Nuff said.  I AM WORTHY.

Breakin’ Out of Loneliness

One of the patterns I’ve de veloped over the years — and a pattern that I see mirrored out there in the world at large — is that of making myself (or yourself, as the case may be) alone.  Which, of course, leads to a sense of loneliness, a feeling of isolation and lack of support.

The interesting thing about this particular pattern is that, from what I can tell, it really doesn’t serve anyone well.  Don’t get me wrong; taking time for one’s self can be a very good thing. But when you take time for yourself, you’re not isolation yourself from humanity and withdrawing into a self-imposed cell of solitary confinement.  Taking time for yourself is a way to rejuvenate and re-energize.  Making yourself alone, however, is simply a way of reinforcing a far-from-true story that you are somehow alone in this world.

Here’s what I know for sure:  no matter who you are, there are people around who are ready, able and WILLING to help.  All you need to do is ask.  Even when you don’t know who you might possibly ask, ask anyway.  Somebody will pop out of the woodwork.   And then you will reconnect with your natural state of being — connected to others.  Because as a human being, you are not meant to  operate in isolation or loneliness.  So break the pattern; lean into humanity.  It’s what I’m doing.  And it’s making a big difference.

A Message That Bears Repeating

Watch what you’re making up; that’s right, this is in fact the message that I’m wanting to drive home today.  I’ve done a post about this in the past, but this week I seem to be confronted on a number of fronts with the reminder that as human beings, we’re making stuff up all the time AND we’re rarely aware of it.  Yes, this does include me as well, from time to time.  And what I mean by that is, I’m more aware than most, just because I’ve researched this — and I still lose my awareness from time to time.

You see, most of the conclusions that you draw, most statements that you make as the gospel truth, are in fact products of your own creation. And so, while you might very well believe that Mary Jo is a wishy-washy, indecisive woman who can’t honour a commitment to save her life, this is not necessarily fact.  It is a statement based on your experience, nothing more.

Why is this so important to understand?  Because, when you get that you’re usually makig stuff up, you can open yourself to other possibilities and thereby expand your range of options.  What if Mary Jo isn’t indecisive so much as uncertain about this particular project?  What if she actually makes decisions with vim and vigour more often than you’ve realized?  What becomes possible for your relationship with this woman then?

Obviously, this is just an example.  But I bring this whole issue forward because I’m noticing so many people holding themselves back based on supposed “facts”, when these are in actuality nothing more than conclusions that may or may not be accurate.

So, here’s my challenge to you (and to me):  every time you hear yourself uttering a fact, (often preceded by statements such as “the reality is”), ask yourself what else might be true. Explore your options.  Play with possibility.  In other words, if you want to stand in possibility, then actually stand in possibility and don’t limit yourself by supposed reality.  That’s my position for today.

When the Fog Lifts…

You know, the last couple of days have been shrouded in a fog of sorts for me.  I’ve attributed this to a combination of factors including blood-sugar roller coasters and lack of sleep; both of these circumstances will shut my brain down and prevent my synapses from making contact everytime.  Regardless of the reason for the sense of fogginess, however, what I know is that being in a fog — mentally speaking — can be extremely frutstrating!

I mean, I’m usually a fairly balanced, level-headed, coherent individual.  Throw me in a mental fog and I literally struggle with remembering words, never mind putting them together to form intelligent sentences.  Problem-solving becomes a skill that’s laughable.  And my emotions tend to sit just below the surface, meaning that I can burst into tears or explode in anger with very little provocation.  Admittedly, this is particularly true when the fog is resulting from sleep-deprivation, but it has been known to manifest this way no matter what the cause of the fog.

Today, however, the fog lifted in a big way.  And while I’m still physically tired, I received an unexpected gift:  a weight that I wasn’t entirely aware of lifted from my shoulders.  It’s GONE — and so now, not only am I seeing things more clearly, I’m able to move and dance with whatever is coming my way with an ease that wasn’t present while I was in the fog.  And what brought about this “fog lifting” was a conversation and exploration that I had with a trusted colleague.  This is a strategy that I’ve used in the past, but for some reason, wasn’t reaching for  this time around.

So what have I learned?  Sometimes, when I’m feeling in a fog, it really does behoove me to get clear, not just because I’ll see better, but because I’ll dane through life better.  In other words, it’s not enough for me to notice the fog and be with it, trusting that it will dissipate sometime.  While this may in fact happen, the waiting can result in my carrying unnecessary burden.  So,  if I truly want the fog to lift, then I need to lean into my tried-and-true strategies sooner rather than later.  Everything will be clearer — and lighter — as a result.  Which is a very good thing.  (And let me apologize now for any typos I may have missed — the fatigue is still present, even while the fog and burden have gone!)

Life is Like a Jigsaw Puzzle…

You know that feeling of overwhelm that you get when you get a new jigsaw puzzle, one with lots of pieces, and you open it up and dump all the pieces out?  I’m realizing that in this current moment, my life feels rather like that.  Actually that’s not entirely true.  My life feels more like that moment where you’ve got the puzzle about 1/3 done.  You know where you’re headed, you’ve got a clear vision of what the finished product is going to look like.  You’re reasonably certain that you’ve got all the pieces (although you’re open to the possibility that one or two may have in fact fallen off the coffee table and are on the floor), but you’re just grappling with how these pieces go together.  That’s what my life feels like in the current moment.  And I gotta tell ya’, it’s got me vascilating all over the place — one moment I’m frustrated, one moment I’m flowing, next moment I”m stuck.

What I’m allowing myself to fall into is that place of determination and knowing.  That mental state where I know I’m headed in the right direction, I know I’m making progress, I know I’ll get there eventually — the puzzle will be completed perfectly — and I may need to take a break or two or ten along the way.  I may need to invite people to join me in the proje ct.  Some may jump right in, some may turn away, some may stay for a bit and then leave — and the puzzle WILL get done.

What I also know for absolute certain is that sometimes, it really does serve me to take a step back and look at the puzzle AND the pieces from a different angle, with a differerent lens.  And sometimes it’s good to work on a different part of the puzzle altogether, knowing that all the sections I work on will come together to create the complete picture eventually.

Yes, i’ts a jigsaw puzzle … and it’s a good thing.  Onward and upward.

When It Comes to Intention,The Winner Is…

…whatever feels true and authentic and filled with integrity in THIS MOMENT.  That, I’m discovering, is the kicker about intention.  You see, I’ve got an overall intention to be the best that I can be in serving humanity.  That feels absolutley genuine and fairly unshakeable to me.  That being said, each and every moment affords me a new opportunity to claim a “sub-intention” if you will.  And while the overall intention acts as my compass, my sub-intentions are what keep me grounded, based on what my immediate perspective is.

Today, I’ve got a jam-packed, appointment-filled, racing-around, sort of day.  Not a bad thing.  But while that kind of day could generally throw me into a wheel-spinnin’ frenzy, my intention for today is to FLOW through it all while being completely present to whatever’s right in front of me.  So even as I’m racing, meeting, driving and conversing, my energy will be grounded in a sense of FLOW and PRESENCE.

I’ve talked before about the power of using colour when setting an intention.  For me, today’s got a bright, periwinkle blueness to it.  Calm, serene, fluid and present.  Picturing that colour grounds me beautifully — at least today.  Other days, other colours work.  but today, the winner is periwinkle blue.  And so I’m off.  Here’s to flowing presence!

You Gotta Love Fear

How much fear are you willing to push through, in order to get what you want?

This Too Shall Pass…

This definitely feels like the lesson of the past few days.  All in a very good way.  Honestly, the weekend — labour day weekend here in Canada, and therefore a holiday weekend — was delightful.  Started with a final “surprise” excursion to Toronto to participate in the Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament.  It was a blast and I can HIGHLY recommend it.  We all had a great time and the kids loved the jousting, the falconry, the games, the food — really, it was awesome.  And the night ended after midnight, which was when we got home.

Saturday we paid a surprise visit to the local animal shelter, just to supplement our current “Pet Research” — the kids have been wanting a dog, so research has been the name of the game for several months.  Well, our “we’re just researching” trip turned into a done deal.  We are now the proud owners of a great dog — and determined yesterday that his name is Buddy.  So our relatively pet-free status is over.

Sunday we enjoyed a dinner out with my parents.  The kids always enjoy this sort of family event, and saw it as a celebratory “back to school” dinner.  You gotta love the Mandarin — perfect  blend of Chinese food, western food, salads, soups, crab, desserts galore — really, there’s something for everybody.  And the festivities ended eventually, with a joyous toast to a succesful year ahead.

Monday, the official holiday, really was a day of “wrapping up summer.”  While summer doesn’t officially transition to autumn for a few weeks yet, summer holidays have come to a close, and every one of us was painfully aware of this yesterday.  Another summer holiday was done, and a new year of school — even if it is just the “school of life” was upon us.

While our temptation as a human race is to use the phrase “this too shall pass” to apply to the negative circumstances that come up, what I’m aware of today is that EVERYTHING passes, as it should.  Fun comes and goes, laughter gives way to sadness at times, meals come to an end, festivities reach their conclusions.  And it’s all good.  The fact that it all passes, when it’s meant to pass, means that we can truly experience the FULLNESS of life.  Isn’t that awesome?  No matter what’s going on, we can know for certain that it will give way to something else.  This lends spice to life.  And today, I’m feeling particularly grateful for the way life shifts.

Onward and upward!