As Human as the Next Person…
This blog post already feels like it’s going to be more of a rant than anything else. Why? Because I’m ticked off. Heck, who am I kidding — I’m furious. So angry that I can feel every muscle in my body as taut as a stretched elastic, it’s actually painful. What’s the anger about? Here’s the deal: I am so frustrated with people seeming to be behind me, seemingly rooting for my success, when in actual fact what they’re doing is waiting for me to stumble and fall in one project or another so they can then tell me how stupid and idealistic I was to ever go after such an objective — whatever it might be. Sometimes it’s about a specific project, sometimes it’s about just hte idea of being an entrepreneur. Either way, these people seem to always be there, supposedly supportive, and then full of less-than-supportive or helpful comments when I really could use them. Freakin’ irritating, it is.
I know in my heart-of-hearts that I need to release this. It’s not good to hold on to anger in this way. And yet, I also know that I’m as human as the next person — by which I mean, “anger” is allowed to be part of my human experience, no matter what others might try to tell me. (Read as: quit telling me not to feel angry, because I AM angry!!)
The question for me in this moment is this — instead of simply “releasing this anger”, how might I channel this anger so that it actually works for me? I’ve actually had experiences of using my anger to achieve an objective. It’s worked pretty well at times. Right now, however, the anger itself feels like it’s clouding my sight lines — I can’t see what I might accomplish.
So then I go back to the idea of releasing the anger — letting it go so I can see clearer. Maybe that’s the way to go. And even that I can’t get my head around.
Bottom-line is this, and I think this is what I actually need to embrace for a bit: Anger’s not bad. What I do with it might be bad. Right now I’m not going to hold it, release it, channel it or anything else. Instead I’m just going to be with it. Not let it control me into anything — just be with it, allowing it to have a voice, inform me as it were. Then, I can actually see that then, I’ll probably know what to do.
I just read about a good idea for situations like these yesterday here: http://sidawson.org/ He suggests to tell yourself “I love myself for hating this”. Maybe it’s worth a try? Good luck (by the way, I know exactly what you are talking about).
Thanks for the suggestion. As many techniques as possible for dealing with “whatever” are much appreciated. And I’m definitely in a much better space now — I’m certain that choosing to “be with the anger” was a good thing for me. Wishing you the inspiration to create your day your way!