When the Answer is “No”

I remember sitting in church years ago, listening to a sermon.  I can’t recall much of what was said that morning; the minister in question was well-known for expounding on end and losing the message in the length of the sermon.  That being said, I do remember him refering to a TV show in which during a particular episode the townsfolk were caught in the midst of a severe drought.  Many of the people were praying and praying endlessly, asking God for rain, which never came.  Needless to say, despair began to set in until finally someone cried out, “Why won’t God answer our prayers?”  To which the primary character (an angel) replied:  “your prayer was answered; the answer is ‘no’.” (Sorry folks, I can’t for the life of me remember the name of the show, although I can picture it quite vividly).

For some reason, I was profoundly impacted by the minister’s sharing of this moment. In the years that have followed since, I have often had occasion to look at how often people ask a question, expect a specific answer, and then when the answer is different, complain that they weren’t heard, or weren’t answered at all.  This is particularly true, so it seems, when our requests are met with a simple “no”.  Why is that?  Why do we get so attached to hearing “yes” that the word “no” sends us into despair and gloom?

Having pondered this for a bit, I think it comes down to attachment, expectation and fear (aka, lack of trust).   I think so many of us get really attached to a specific outcome and when it doesn’t show up we doubt that we actually know what to do.  We become unsure of whether or not the universe is really supporting us.   We question whether or not God really wants us to be comfortable and succeed on our terms.

Personally, I believe that God does, absolutely want us to succeed on our terms.  So often though, what we think are our terms really aren’t.  Because we haven’t taken the time to get clear on what our terms are.  Instead, we’ve just jumped on a bandwagon somewhere, claimed it’s purpose as ours, and asked the universe to support out decision.  Sometimes it will; and sometimes it won’t.  And I choose to believe that when the universe won’t — when the answer to our prayers is “no”, it’s becuase there really is something better in store for us.

Now, I’m as human as the next guy, and this is just as hard for me to embrace as it probably is for you.  Sometimes I can totally settle into that trust-space and feel the arms of the universe envelope me and guide me.  Other times though, when I get too attached to “being right”, when I lose sight of being in service, it’s harder for me to let go.  That’s when I hear that minister’s voice saying, “The answer is no.”  I may not like it; and I can still accept it.  Deep down I do get that, like any good parent, sometimes the universe will say “no” whether I agree or not — and in the end, it’ll give me time to get clear on what I want and jump back in the game.