Dancing on the Line

And what a fine line it is — as in narrow, as opposed to wonderful.  Although it could be wonderful.  But I digress.  I know, you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about.  Here’s the deal.  AS many of you know, I set myself the goal of running a marathon next year (fall 2010) to be exact.  And I’ve decided to tackle this in baby steps.  The first of these steps was to enrol in a learn-to-run class at my local gym.  I started at the end of March, and the class was 6 weeks in length, which took us to last week.  On our last sesssion, we ran 5 km, which was the goal for the class.

Now, admittedly, I did not run the 5km straight.  I did stretches of 8 minutes running, interspersed with 2 minutes of walking.  Given that I started way back in March with 3 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking, I figure I’m doing pretty well.  One of the things I noticed towards the end of the class is that I definitely prefer to run alongside someone.  Having a buddy keeps me motivated, even when I want to stop.  And I knew that I was going to have to reach for some internal motivation to keep me going once the class was finished.

Well, until today, I haven’t run at all this week.  Interesting eh?  And today, having mapped out a 5 km route, I found it REALLY challenging to push myself to do the full 5 km.  I’ll confess here and now that I stopped short; I only ran about 4.2 km.  Definitely over 4, and not 5.  So what’s the fine line?  It’s the line between pushing myself to reach a goal, and listening to what my body actually needs.  Truthfully, my body wanted to stop around the 2.5 km mark.  But I knew I could definitely do more than that!  As I neared the 4 km mark, however, the shin splints started to kick in.  Years ago, they happened alot. Through this running class, they only happen when I haven’t stretched enough in advance.  And I know from past experience that if I push myself to run with the shin splints, I’ll pay BIG TIME for it later.

Now, hear me correctly: I’m not trying to make excuses here.  Instead, I’m truly trying to discern the fine line between challenging myself and knowing when to stop.  It’s a constant dance for me, figuring out my limits.  And truthfully, the limit changes — the line moves — on a regular basis.  So what’s my point?   I guess I’m feeling and wanting to remind myself (as well as my readers) that in the end it’s imperative for you to determine for yourself, moment-to-moment, day-by-day how far you’re going to push yourself.  Where is the line for you today?  And how do you know?  Because when it comes right down to it, only you get to decide whether what you’re doing is in integrity with your aims, or if you’re selling out.  As painful as it may be, sometimes stopping short is the most integrity-filled thing to do.  And it’s up to you.