When You Can’t Read the Signs…

…feel them.  That’s right, instead of worrying about reading the signs that the universe is trying to send you, feel them in your being.  You are a powerful receptor and conveyor of information, particularly information from the universe.  I know from my own experience that every answer you seek to every question you have can be accessed in your body somewhere.

Play along with me for a moment.  Sit or stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground.  Close your eyes (okay, you’re going to have to read this paragraph in its entirety before you do the exercise!).  With your eyes closed, take 3 or 4 deep breaths.  With each exhale, feel any tension you’re holding or anxiety your feeling leave through your toes and dissolve into the ground beneath you.  Now take your right hand and put it over your heart, or your forehead or your stomach – wherever it is that you feel most connected to your power.  Now ask whatever question you’ve got on your mind.  Be still.  Pay attention to your body and feeeeel the answer.  Can you feel it?  I assert that you can.  The challenge now is for you to learn to trust it.

Whatever your question is/was you’ve now been given an answer.  What will happen if you follow your guidance?  So often, as human beings we rely only on what we “hear”; while there is nothing inherently wrong with hearing, what I want you to get is that there are other ways to access the answers you seek.  Utilizing all of your senses will allow you to source your answers quicker.

So go ahead and play with this notion of feeling.  Have some fun with it.  At the very least, it’ll lend some variety to your day.  And it may even open you up to having your questions answered more expediently.  Happy Friday to you!

Keeping Connections Real

Yes, another post today.  Seems like I’m in a writing mode lately, doesn’t it?  I think it’s me playing to a strength, doing something I love, and being able to expound on a new learning or insight.  It’s a way for me to stay in conversatin and exploration with others about issues that feel relevant in the moment.  Which is a great seguey into the topic for this post:  connections.

We live in a world which seemingly affords the opportunity to be forever connected.  And you would think that, given my belief in the importance of human connection, that I would welcome this.  And I do, for the most part.  I do have one reservation however, and this is around the depth and sincerity of these virtual connections.  You see, so often, the connections that are being made seem fleeting and superficial.  Virtual communications also eliminate a critical aspect to the human need for connection, and that is the energetic quality that can only be experienced through voice or touch.

Over this past week I’ve really noticed that I have a need to really connect with others.  Email is wonderful, social networking is great, but I need to have connections that go that one step deeper.  I need to be in the physical presence of others — I need to see faces, hear voices and sometimes hold another’s hand.  In other words, the language simply isn’t enough for me.  I need the subtle nuances of connection that get expressed when we’re genuinely together.

Don’t get me wrong:  at times, email communication, or social networking is better than nothing.  After all, I can often “hear” another person’s voice even when I’m simply reading an email just as well as if they were here.  As our world continues to move ahead at sometimes breakneck speeds, however, I think it behooves us to ensure that we aren’t removing the total experience of connection altogether.  I personally think that two-dimensional connections aren’t enough for us to thrive as we’re intended.

Bottom-line: go ahead –  engage in the virtual communications and get with the times by all means.  At some point, however, remind yourself to keep the connections real.  That way you’ll stay connected to who you really are as well.

Ditch the Box

That’s right; today I’m all about ditching the box.  Actually, most days I’m about ditchign the box.  Today, I’m going to write about it.

We’ve all heard about “thinking outside the box”, which essentially equates to getting creative.  In my book, The Control Freak’s Guide to Living Lightly, my co-author and I talk about getting out of the box and taking others out of the box — in other words, being cautious about the limits that you put on yourself and others.  Recently, I heard a colleague ask, “but what if the answer you’re looking for is IN the box?”  And here’s my answer:  it’s time to break the box apart, and then ditch it.

When you break the box apart – pull the sides away – anything that’s inside will be visible.  You can take what you need, discard what you don’t, and then lose the confines of the box altogether.  Why is this important?  Because, boxes of any sort limit our human experience.  The minute you start to put limits on what you wil and will not, do and don’t, you build the walls of a box and limit yourself from seeing what else might be possible.  And you start to live ina world of “either/or” as opposed to a world of “both/and”.  I’m not going to say more about “both/and” here, because I’m going to write about that in next month’s newsletter article.  (As an aside, you can subscribe to that on the homepage of my website, www.stellarcc.com).

Bottom-line:  when you start to feel limited, when you start to feel stifled, when you start to feel breathless, it’s time to recognize that the box you’re in is holding you back.  If you can’t ditch the box altogether, at least make it larger — give yourself room to grow into your full potential.  Boxes just aren’t environments in which anything — ideas, animals, people — survive or thrive.  Period.

Serving The World, One Course at a Time

Generally speaking, I don’t use this blog for a lot of blatant self-promotion.  I mean, I totally understand that blogging is a way to stay connected with your client-base, so when I blog, I am essentially marketing in one way or another.  But I don’t think I’ve ever (and maybe I’m wrong) actually promoted an offering of mine in this venue.  I’m going to do it today, however   Why?  Because I can — and because I think there’s an inherent lesson for me to share as well.

So, what am I promoting?  My upcoming teleclass and in-person offerings of “Your Life, Your Way, Starting Today – 12 weeks to life on your terms”.  As you know, I’m all about living life on your terms.  This course is an affordable,  small-group, experience designed to gie participants concrete structures and guidance to creating the life they really want for  themselves.  What I know for sure is that there are many people who want coaching but find the cost somewhat prohibitive.  Through this group experience, the cost is spread out without diluting the impact of the learnings.  I also know that some people do their greatest work when they’re able to buiold off of the energy in a group.  So this is absolutely the setting for them.  Finally, for some people, time is at a premium.  And while there is definitely a time investment in this course as in any, I know that the time spent on reworking how your life works is well worth it.

One of the things Ive learned as I’ve put this course together, and as I’ve worked to promote it is that it is imperative for people to believe in what they’re doing.  Whether it’s the work you’re engaged in, the project you’re promoting or the life you’re living, if you don’t believe in it, you cannot make it work properly.  I believe whole-heartedly in the logic of living your life on your terms.  Based on this belief, I’ve created a number of resources and programs.  This latest offering, the 12-week course is powerful, life-altering and absolutely worth your investment of time and resources.  The question is, do you believe that you’re worth it?  If so, this course is definitely for you.  You won’t be disappointed.

And now I have a request of you – please help spread the word.  The course (whether in-person or telecourse) is limited to 10 participants.  My goal is to have both sessions be full.  I know I can do this, particularly with your help.  Please help me get the word out — and in turn, let me know how I can help you.  I really am committed to serving the world.

Another Way to Be

So, yesterday I delivered my first “sermon” at a nearby United Church.  They were celebrating an anniversary and had invited me to share a message of inspiration in place of the usual sermon.  Granted, when they first made their request, they tiptoed around the word “sermon” for a bit, but they finally came out and named it for what it was.  Needless to say, my initial reaction was a combination of laughter and anxiety – I mean, do I come across as a theological expert?  (I figure people who give sermons have to have some level of theological expertise!).  But then I decided that a sermon wasn’t all that different from the motivational presentations I usually give.  I have been an active church member for all of my life so I have a sound theological base.   And heck, they obviously want to hear what I have to say.  So I agreed (obviously) to deliver.

The topic I chose to “preach” (goodness it’s funny to say that!) about was “The Power of Being”.  You see, I’m a big advocate of “being”.  I think it’s one of the most natural human processes, but one that has been all but abandoned in our modern, fast-paced, action-filled society.  Anyone who’s not “doing” something must be lazy or on vacation.  There seems to be a pervasive disregard that exists for what appears to be idleness.

I want to draw your attention, however, to the fact that our very language describes our species collectively as human BEINGS, not human DOINGS.  I personally believe that this is significant.  Our essence, our power resides in how we be and who we be, moment to moment, day to day.  When we deny ourselves the opportunity to BE, for whatever reason, we deny ourselves the opportunity to be truly engaged with who we are.

So what’s the big deal? Why does BEING matter?  My belief is that so often the answers we seek, the directions we’re looking for, are all available to us and accessible by us when we take the time to be still.  Rather than jumping immediately to the question “what should I do?”, I assert that the process is best engaged in in the following way:  first, determine to BE still — take some time to just sit (where you sit doesn’t really matter), turn your attention inward and just BE.  Once you’ve connected and felt the stillness around you, ask the question, “how will I be going forward?”.  The answers to this question are as varied as you can imagine.  You may choose to be angry, sad, happy, progressive, open, focused — whatever.  Once you’ve determined how you will be, the final question is “What will I do/choose/decide?” as it relates to whatever issue you’re currently facing.  You see, when you connect with your beingness, the essence of who you are, you give yourself the experience of informing your choice of action from a really genuine place within.  Your choices and decisions aren’t haphazard — they’re aligned with your very core essence.

Bottom-line: giving yourself permission, time and space to BE actually allows you to move forward more expediently and more in alignment than if you just plow ahead.  SIMPLY BEING isn’t a lazy choice, it’s a powerful one.  Doesn’t have to be long, and it does have to happen.  So, go out there and BE.  It’s what I’m off to do right now.

Time To Let It Go

Yup, 2nd blog post for today.  Some days are like that, I’ve got things to say and my blog provides the perfect outlet.  So here’s my latest “a-ha” moment to share with you.  Ready for it?  Here it is: before you can let something in, you’ve got to let something out!

This may  or may not seem like a profound thought to you.  And admittedly, it’s not a brand new one for me.  It’s interesting, however, how I am reminded of these things at various times.  And it would appear that it was time for me to be reminded that holding on to stuff, no matter what it is, doesn’t allow for other stuff to be let in.

I think what I’m most struck by in this moment is how this applies to emotional “stuff”.  I know, for example, that what I want in my life experience is as much joy as possible.  I get that I can’t be totally rid of sadness, anger, grief, etc; — life wouldn’t be complete without those things and indeed they are needed in order to provide contrast — that “full range of experience” thing that I’ve talked about before.  What I noticed today, however, is that in my effort to have more joy than not, what I sometimes do is try to squash (read as “deny”) the presence of sadness, fear, grief, anger rather than release it.  I sometimes forget that giving expression to an emotion is a way of releasing it, thereby creating room for what I really want.

So, what do YOU want in your life?  Whether you’re talking about something tangible or not, the truth is that you need to create space for what you want by letting go of what you don’t want.  So here’s my challenge to you – start letting things go and letting things out.  Create the space so you’ve got room for what you want.  I think it’s probably a more effective way to operate than trying to hold on to absolutely everything.  Letting go and being in the flow are essentially two parts of the same thing.  That’s my two-cents worth for now.

Are You Sure That’s What You Want?

I recently acquired a meditation/manifestation CD from a friend.  Truthfully, I’m loving it.  I find that having a person’s voice guide me through a meditation works well for me.  Being the novice meditator that I am, I’m less likely to get distracted when I can follow something specific.

Anyway, right at the outset of the CD, listeners are invited to contemplate what it is they’re wanting in their life.  “What would your ideal situation be?” is the question I am asked, and I know the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.  The next question is this…wait for it…”If you could have your ideal right now, would you take it?”  At first this question stumped me.  Why the heck are you asking me that?  Of course, I’d take it!  And then I realized that this is really the ultimate question!  Because if your answer is anything other than a resounding, unequivocal “yes”, then it doesn’t matter what the heck you’re trying to bring into your life, it just won’t show up!

So many people I know say that they’re after something specific: wealth, joy, happiness, companionship, peace, balance.  In fact, I’m willing to wager that there’s something you’re striving for right now, some dream that you’d tell me about if I asked.   And yet I have my suspicions that in your heart-of-hearts, although you say they want “x”, if it were given to you right here and now, you actually wouldn’t take it.  Why not?  Well,  I can only guess.  And my guess is that underneath the desire, behind the curtain of longing, there’s an awareness that having this “x” show up would mean that life would be different from what’s familiar.

I can just hear the collective, “Well, duh!”  And I’ve got to say, I’m not trying to be faecitious here.  Instead, I’m pointing to the fact that at a subconscious level, we all love the familiar.  Even when the familiar isn’t exactly enjoyable, it’s predictable and erego comfortable.  To have it change, even for the better, means having to adjust how you  are in the world.  It means having to find a new orientation.  And for some people, that’s just too much work.

So ask yourself, whatever it is you’re aiming for right now, are you willing to adjust your orientation to the world around you in order to have it?  Are you willing to change in whatever way is necessary?  Are you willing to let some people go, be with new people, perhaps change your location?  Because when you’re asked whether or not you’d take your dream on a platter right now, what you’re really being asked is “are you willing to shift your life in accordance with that dream?”  If your answer is yes, great!  And if your answer is anything else, it’s time to stop and get really clear on what you are willing to do.  Bottom-line: until you are willing to say a resounding, crystal-clear yes to your dream, it won’t show up.  I guarantee it.

Dancing on the Line

And what a fine line it is — as in narrow, as opposed to wonderful.  Although it could be wonderful.  But I digress.  I know, you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about.  Here’s the deal.  AS many of you know, I set myself the goal of running a marathon next year (fall 2010) to be exact.  And I’ve decided to tackle this in baby steps.  The first of these steps was to enrol in a learn-to-run class at my local gym.  I started at the end of March, and the class was 6 weeks in length, which took us to last week.  On our last sesssion, we ran 5 km, which was the goal for the class.

Now, admittedly, I did not run the 5km straight.  I did stretches of 8 minutes running, interspersed with 2 minutes of walking.  Given that I started way back in March with 3 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking, I figure I’m doing pretty well.  One of the things I noticed towards the end of the class is that I definitely prefer to run alongside someone.  Having a buddy keeps me motivated, even when I want to stop.  And I knew that I was going to have to reach for some internal motivation to keep me going once the class was finished.

Well, until today, I haven’t run at all this week.  Interesting eh?  And today, having mapped out a 5 km route, I found it REALLY challenging to push myself to do the full 5 km.  I’ll confess here and now that I stopped short; I only ran about 4.2 km.  Definitely over 4, and not 5.  So what’s the fine line?  It’s the line between pushing myself to reach a goal, and listening to what my body actually needs.  Truthfully, my body wanted to stop around the 2.5 km mark.  But I knew I could definitely do more than that!  As I neared the 4 km mark, however, the shin splints started to kick in.  Years ago, they happened alot. Through this running class, they only happen when I haven’t stretched enough in advance.  And I know from past experience that if I push myself to run with the shin splints, I’ll pay BIG TIME for it later.

Now, hear me correctly: I’m not trying to make excuses here.  Instead, I’m truly trying to discern the fine line between challenging myself and knowing when to stop.  It’s a constant dance for me, figuring out my limits.  And truthfully, the limit changes — the line moves — on a regular basis.  So what’s my point?   I guess I’m feeling and wanting to remind myself (as well as my readers) that in the end it’s imperative for you to determine for yourself, moment-to-moment, day-by-day how far you’re going to push yourself.  Where is the line for you today?  And how do you know?  Because when it comes right down to it, only you get to decide whether what you’re doing is in integrity with your aims, or if you’re selling out.  As painful as it may be, sometimes stopping short is the most integrity-filled thing to do.  And it’s up to you.

Fear

What’s your biggest fear? How does it hold you back? How does it serve you? What might it take to let it go?

Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  ~ Marianne Williamson

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